Save me, I'm lost, Oh Lord I've been waiting for you. I'll pay any cost, To save me from being confused. Wait, I'm wrong, I can't do better than this. I'll pay any cost, Save me from being confused.
Show me what I'm looking for... Show me what I'm looking for... Show me what I'm looking for... Show me what I'm looking for... Oh Lord.
Just a S.E.C. -
Have a seat right over here...
Bama v OM - Nick Saban does his best Chris Hansen impression as the Crimson Machine keeps on rolling in what will surely be a rout. Victor: Bama
UGA v Vandy - The 'Dores give the Dogs more than they expect, but not more than they can handle. Victor: UGA
LSU v Tenn - Neyland Stadium looks like a bad orange on Saturday, with the classic Tennessee colors fading into a purple and gold bruise in the stands as the Tiger fans take over in Tennessee. Victor: LSU
Fla v Auburn - It's the Battle of the Embattled QB's on the Plains this weekend, not to be confused with the Battle of the Backup QB's in Starkville. Both teams sit at 4-2, but after Saturday Florida will be moving on and up. Victor: Florida
Courtesy of LSUFreek, greatest Farker the world has ever known...
Week in Review -
Insert "That Guy" joke of your choice here...
Who should start? That's the question on every Bulldog's lips (and the poll question, look up at the top-right corner) this week as we head into a game with South Carolina. Chris Relf took the first half against UAB last weekend and produced little offensively. Tyler Russell was given the second half and the Dawgs offense came alive. So who will get the start? You can cast your vote, but Dan Mullen isn't telling...
Truth is, there are good reasons to start both. The offense obviously began to 'click' with Tyler at the helm, but SC's defense is one of the best in the nation at defending both the pass and the run. Tyler looked solid against UAB, but the SEC is a whole different level. Chris gives the Dawgs a legitimate run threat, but if he can't connect on passes there will not be much opening up for the run game. What to do...
My guess? I think Dan will start Tyler, but if there isn't much production from the offense with Russell behind the wheel then look for Relf to be under center by the 2nd quarter. But if SC jumps out to a big lead we will be forced to take to the air, and I just don't see Relf taking many snaps in that scenario the way he's been passing, so that would lend itself to Tyler lining up at QB. It will be interesting, that's for sure...
Keys to the Game -
Both schools have a QB controversy of sorts, with the aforementioned Relf/Russell combo for MSU being up in the air, while SC's QB situation seems to have resolved itself earlier this week when Stephen Garcia was shown the door after his FIFTH violation... (what happened to three strikes and you're out?) Both schools are dealing with on-going or recently concluded QB drama, so I would call this a wash as far as the benefits to the opponents go.
MSU's defense has quietly improved as the season has progressed, but can they put it all together on game day against the Gamecocks? Meanwhile SC's defense is one of the best in the nation, and not what you want to see if you're wearing maroon and white on Saturday...
Offense -
South Carolina's defense is strong against the pass, and pretty good against the run, too. They also force their fair share of turnovers. Protecting the ball (no fumbles/int's) is a must. I would expect Dan and Les Koening to try some bubble screens and option plays with Relf under center, and go to high percentage, short passes and hand-offs when Tyler is in the game. The offensive line will be a little better if they can avoid any further injuries, which will hopefully give the Bulldog's QB (WHOEVER it is...) time to make a pass, but in order to do so both Relf and Russell must be a step quicker than they were last week. They will not be afforded as much time Saturday as they were at UAB.
Defense -
The Bulldog's defense has kept them in most of the games this season, whether or not the offense did their part. I'm still not a big fan of the 7-10 yard cushion that opposing receivers seem to be getting, but it does lend itself to that "bend but don't break" style of defensive play, and that's exactly what they've done.
For the record, this is the only cushioning I can approve...
Remember this defense held #1 LSU to 2 first half field goals and only allowed a touchdown in the 4th quarter. They line up against the likes of Vick Ballard and LaDarius Perkins every week in practice, so I feel confident they can handle Marcus Lattimore. I expect either Banks or Broomfield to have a pick-6 this week, and if we can get that and minimize turnovers it could be the difference in this game.
Bottom Line -
You gonna eat that? -Renardo Sidney
Turnovers. And not the delicious, fruit/cream filled kind... If the Bulldogs want to win they must come out on the winning side of the turnover margin, and find a spark on offense. The defense should be able to hold SC to 2 TD's and a field goal or two. The offense will have to make the most of their opportunities if they want to walk away with the W this weekend...
Pretty self-explanatory title there... and a damn good song, mind you.
Just a S.E.C. -
UK v SC - South Carolina and Steve Spurrier will tap Conner Shaw as their starting QB this time around, attempting to regroup after losing to Auburn last week. Whoever lines up at QB, this should be a bounce-back game for the Gamecocks. Victory goes to: SC.
Vandy v Bama - The Tide continues rolling, knocking off Florida in convincing fashion last weekend. Nary a stumble to be found in this contest, either, from the looks of it... at least for Alabama. Victory goes to: Bama.
GA v Tenn - Georgia sports losses to Boise State and South Carolina. Tennessee's lone loss is to Florida. In a contest of the Eastern also-rans, this will be a better game than you might expect. Playing in Neyland Stadium gives the Vols the edge. Victory goes to: Tenn.
The Truffle-Shuffle is so last millennium...
Auburn v Ark - Arkansas barely escaped new-kid-on-the-block-to-be Texas A&M last weekend with a dramatic come from behind victory... and at least one Hawg fan was pretty psyched about that. Auburn lost a few weeks ago to Clemson but has rebounded, posting a big win over highly ranked South Carolina most recently. Home field advantage will have the Hogs rolling on, undefeated. Victory goes to: Ark.
Fla v LSU - Florida faces undefeated LSU and a rough double dose of SEC West powerhouses. Having lost to Bama last weekend, the Gators must travel to Baton Rouge to face a scary LSU team. Florida will limp away from this one licking their wounds. Victory goes to: LSU.
Week In Review - Last week MSU lost to Eastern division foe Georgia, in what was essentially an un-funny comedy of errors. Costly turnovers and lack of execution at every position over the course of the game led to the maroon-clad Bulldogs getting in a hole early, thereby forcing MSU to attempt to take to the air, something that has not gone well in recent weeks. Carmon bouncing around to different spots didn't help solidify anything on the offensive line, either.
Pay no attention to the man behind the hedges!
Also, Nickoe Whitley peed on the hedges (allegedly). Frankly, I find this a non-issue. I personally like to 'commune with nature' when I have the opportunity, and I'm sure he was only thinking of the fans when he decided to exhibit a bit of modesty and hide his 'exposure' in the bushes, lest some old blue-hair have a coronary.
Keys to the Game - This week MSU faces a UAB team that they narrowly avoided losing to at home last year. With the injuries the Bulldogs are saddled with, it's important to get the young guys experience, quickly. If Dan Mullen can find a permanent spot for Carmon and let him anchor the line, we should see some progress from the O-line, and by extension, the offense.
MSU Recievers: "They look like big, strong hands..."
Offense - Chris Relf and his wide receivers need to have a 'come to Jesus' meeting, like yesterday. It's 50/50 on bad passes and missed catches... Then there's the O-line which has been riddled with injuries. This game will be a great opportunity for the offense to get back on the right track, but it will not be a cakewalk. UAB played MSU frighteningly close in Starkville last season, and they have something to prove coming into the game 0-4.
Defense - MSU's defense did pretty much all you could ask of them the past few weeks. Keep in mind, MSU played the defending national champions on the road, and #1 team in the nation at home in back to back weeks. Their performance has been lacking at times, but they've performed close to expectations for most realistic fans. The problem for the Dawgs has been the offense and their lack of execution. For all the heat Chris Wilson has taken (and I've thrown some around myself) they are doing enough to keep MSU in these games.
George Clinton and the Parliamentary Funkadelic - Atomic Dog
The blog is going to take a detour this week... we won't be doing all the regular features, so that we can instead bring you this lovely little story about friends, football and alcohol...
Mr. Mitch's Wild Ride -
So this week's blog will be a little different, for reasons you're about to find out. I did not really have an opportunity to watch the game, although I had a ticket and was actually in the stands for the first half, so I can only comment on the info I've received about the game secondhand and what I've read in the post-game aftermath.
Please note, all names have been changed to protect the guilty. Yes, guilty.
So my friend, we'll call him Mitch, he is an MSU alumnus and football fan. He bought a set of season tickets with me so he could attend any of our homegames provided he could get the time off from work. His first game to attend this season was the LA Tech game this past weekend.
We start the weekend off by going downtown and having a great time eating and drinking with friends, and watching one of our old friends from college play an accoustic set. The next morning we rise and shine and start prepping for gameday. We get the cooler, stock it full of beer and mixers, and head off to campus. After we make 'the drop' at the tailgate we go and park my car in the Cotton District at Stagger Inn (decent little sports bar if you're ever in the area). We go inside, have a great lunch and a couple of beers while watching the first half of the Georgia/Ole Miss game.
After a while I noticed a sign on the wall for Jim Beam - Devil's Cut. I'm not going to go into the whole process, but basically when making bourbon there is an Angel's Share and a Devil's Cut, which are both considered to be lost in the process of making the bourbon. Apparently Jim Beam figured out a way to get the Devil's Cut, that is the alcohol that has been soaked up by the wooden barrels in which it's aged, back out of the wood. I was intrigued and I do enjoy my bourbon from time to time, so I thought I'd buy a round for myself and my two friends, Mitch and Jerry.
At this point Mitch tells me he's ok with beer, but with liquor he sorta has trouble 'pacing himself.' I've known him a long time and knew what he was talking about, but thought to myself, "What's the harm in having one? He can keep his pace..." The Devil's Cut was a hit, and we decided to wrap the party up and move it to the tailgate.
At the tailgate I mix myself the old standby, Captain and Coke. (I love it so much my dogs are named Captain and Morgan...) Mitch has himself a couple of beers (pacing and all) and Jerry, our other friend from back in the day, is enjoying his Jack Daniel's. Around two hours before kickoff Mitch breaks out this 'great new liquor' he's found called Blackheart. He mixes himself a drink and then mixes one for me. I took one drink and gave it away. It was god-awful, like someone mixed Southern Comfort with rain water from Bourbon Street the day after Mardi Gras ends. Mitch says he likes it... Whatever, buddy. Enjoy.
So about 30 minutes before kickoff we begin making our way to the stadium and I get separated from Mitch and Jerry. Luckily I spot them again when I get up the ramp to our seats at the first concession stand. In the typical "slightly tipsy, excited about an upcoming sporting event" manner I proceed to run up and give a shoulder check to Mitch. He stumbles a bit more than I expect and when he turns around his eyes are damn near crossed. Immediately I think "Oh hell, here we go... no more for Mitch until after the game." So for a little damage control Mitch buys one of those big, soft pretzels to hopefully settle his stomach, and a coke.
You're doing it wrong...
We go and sit at one of the tables on the concourse, and Jerry and myself are standing on the opposite side of the table from Mitch, talking when we hear the tell-tale sounds of sputtering. Looking around we see Mitch has 'rejected' his recently ingested pretzel all over the table. We give the obligatory damnations and send him to the bathroom, ostensibly for the purposes of cleaning himself up and getting any more of that shit out of his system before we go to our seats.
He comes back a few minutes later and appears none the worse for wear, but definitely not any better, either. We proceed into the stands to find a good spot to watch the game. As an aside, our seats suck but that is our own fault for missing the season ticket deadline a few years ago. As a result we are shoved in the very southernmost section on the east side, basically looking at the side/back of the jumbotron. For that reason we tend to 'squat' in other seats.
Before you get all uppity about our squatting, know this. We look for open seats, and when we find them we ask the people sitting there if anyone is sitting in them. If they say no, I explain how our seats suck but if the ticket holders come along we will gladly move, we just want a better view, no harm no foul. Never had a problem before.
Anyway, we find a great spot, three wide and nobody sitting in front of us (thank god for THAT). The crowd noise is pretty loud, as are the songs and effects coming from the speakers, and of course the cowbells. Mitch sits between Jerry and myself and immediately puts on his hat and sunglasses, and props his head up in his hands.
Kickoff ensues, and I notice Mitch has slumped a little more, and has now folded his arms across his knees and has his head down resting on his arms. As there wasn't really a lot anyone could do for him I just let him be, figuring the worst was behind us. Oh how wrong I was...
At some point during the first quarter Mitch has now slid entirely off his seat and is sitting on the concrete, bracing his back against the seat. He still has his head down between his knees, but has drawn his feet up a little more, getting closer and closer to the beloved-by-all-drunks fetal position.
MSU scores a touchdown, the crowd goes wild, I jump up and start ringing my cowbell. Jerry does the same, albeit a bit slower, but then Jerry is a bit slower at just about everything. I look down to check on Mitch and discover that he has dug really deep, and not in a good way. He's busted out the technicolor yawn all over the concrete between his feet. He's called Ralph and Earl, and unfortunately without the aid of the porcelain telephone. Yes, he has jettisoned the chunky cargo... I call Jerry's attention to this. Jerry looks at me and shrugs. Thanks Jerry.
The clock is now ticking. If and when this gets noticed we will need to be elsewhere or face the wrath of the stadium gestapo. I am now entirely disregarding the football game (I was told after the fact that I didn't miss much, but still if I had my choice.....) and trying to coax Mitch into going back to the bathroom, or better yet, the tailgate. Unfortunately for those of you who are aware of the phases of the classic drunken stupor, Mitch is now in the 'immovable' stage. He can't focus, he can't speak, and he certainly can't stand or walk. He also can't stop 'spommiting.'
The legendary liquid scream...
Spommit (verb, noun) is a phrase coined for Mitch due to his volcanic nature of regurgitation. While most people open their mouths and let it all come out like a flood, Mitch fights it as hard as he can, and in doing so he squeezes his lips shut. So what happens when someone vommits in their mouths and forces their lips shut? Spommit, that's what. It's like a small-scale projectile vommit, typically with a cone-shaped dispersion pattern. During our college days Mitch had perfected the art of grabbing a nearby (usually empty) glass or cup and discretely depositing his unwanted stomach contents in it. Unfortunately he is now out of practice.
I'll be right back!
So Mitch is slowly releasing burst after burst of partially-digested grossness onto the pavement and I try to recruit Jerry to help with an extraction. Jerry, however, is more focused on Jerry's need to pee. I implore Jerry not to go because I know the second he moves the family of four seated on the other side of him will notice Mitch's handiwork and call for help. Jerry insists he will be fast and no one will notice, and drunk Jerry doesn't listen any better than sober Jerry, who is pretty piss-poor at it anyway. So as Jerry is walking down the steps I look at the scoreboard and suddenly I feel like -I- might be sick, but for a very different reason. In focusing all my efforts on minimizing the damage from Mitch I lost track of time, and Jerry has gone to take a piss with 10 seconds left in the first half. Oh yeah, you'll be right back.
Halftime: People walking past, wrinkling their noses, me giving weak apologies and continually trying to move the immovable object while he continues to unleash the unstoppable force. I am also frantically calling and texting Jerry for assistance... and let me just take a moment right here to give a big F U to AT&T for their continually shitty service on game days. Anyway, as the teams run on to the field to start the second half I see two uniformed police officers round the corner at the bottom of the steps and the dad from the family of four to our right points out Mitch. In the words of some Anheuser Busch ad exec, "Here we go."
The officers come up and proceed to grab Mitch by the shoulder and shake him, rather violently. "Oh lord, don't do that!" I said, concerned they are going to make matters worse.
Old cop: Well, he ain't stayin here.
Me: I understand but I've tried moving him and he won't move.
Old cop: Oh he's gonna move whether or not he likes it. He's being arrested for public intoxication.
Me: I understand that, but could you at least clear a path? I don't want him "marking up" anyone on his way out.
Yeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Old cop: *sigh* fine.
Young cop clears the row, they both put on gloves and lift Mitch by the elbows. Luckily Mitch has ejected the majority of his ballast, and thus avoids any incidents while in motion. As they are escorting him down the steps they are asking him a barrage of questions such as "Have you been drinking tonight?" "How much have you had to drink?" "Do you have any alcohol on you?" etc. Mitch's answer to every question is "I'm sorry." Now we're at the apologetic drunk phase. I've been in full-on damage control mode since sometime in the first quarter, so I chime in with responses for him, such as "He's had a couple drinks, yeah, but I think it's that pizza. I took a bite and spit it out, it was so nasty." Did the cops buy this? Probably not, but plausible deniability and all that....
As we are walking through the concourse I spot Jerry, leaned up against a pole with his phone to his ear. We walk right in front of him, and as his semi-glazed over eyes appear to focus on Mitch and widen I'm in his face, grabbing his shoulder and saying "Dude, help." I turn around to catch up with the cops thinking Jerry is now on board as well, which gives me a little hope. I don't know what good Jerry could've done, but at least we'll all go down together, right?
Wrong. We get to the elevator and while the cops are commadeering it I turn around expecting to see Jerry right there behind me. Nope. Nothing. Nada. Jerry has ditched us. Thanks Jerry. So I hop on the express elevator to hell and while we're riding down one of the cops asks me "Are we going to find any weapons on him?" Now in my mind I'm thinking guns, machetes, nunchucks. I actually laughed at the notion. "Him? No way..."
We get down to the mobile booking station and they pat him down, pulling out his wallet, his phone, and a pocket knife. I actually cringed because I had no idea he had it, and apologized profusely, but the cops seemed unconcerned after the litanny of apologies spewing forth from Mitch's mouth. They also confiscate four untouched airline sized bottles of Blackheart. During all of this Mitch is sitting indian-style on the ground, head down and swaying (and still apologizing, I guess at this point to the spirits of the Indian Burial Ground which Davis Wade Stadium is built on).
Once the officer takes Mitch's information from his license he turns to me...
Young Cop: I need your information, too.
Me: Whoa, wait... what do you need my info for? I didn't do anything...
Young Cop: If we're gonna release him to you we need your info.
Me: If, by that, you mean I can take him away from here and neither of us is going to jail then I'm happy to give you my info.
Young Cop: Ok, so gimme your info then...
Information is given and all of Mitch's possessions (minus four airline sized bottles) are returned to him. As I'm hauling Mitch to his feet Young Cop decides to show off for his buddies. He puffs out his chest and turns to Mitch and declares "Now, if we catch you trying to come back into this game..."
I cut Young Cop off laughing so hard I nearly pissed myself. While I do understand that some drunken douchebags might get kicked out and try to sneak back in, even this guy could see that Mitch, being in the state he was in, had no idea where he was or that there was even a game going on. Young Cop deflates slightly and finishes his sentence, "...we'll arrest you for disturbing the peace and public intoxication."
With tears of laughter in my eyes at the notion of Mitch trying to pull a stunt like that I apologize for laughing and thank the officers, and we head back to the tailgate. Once back at the tailgate I have Mitch recline on a nice, comfy patch of grass and begin to pull his shit together.(see below)
Looks comfy to me... he's fiiiiine.
Once he's settled I look around at neighboring tailgates' televisions to discover we're in overtime against LA Tech. Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. As if this night wasn't bad enough already, we're clawing and scraping to escape Louisianna Tech? Luckly (and I do mean LUCKILY) we pull out the win and slowly my friends start to reappear at the tailgate. I go to the cooler to make myself a drink and that's when I realize what went wrong.
DO NOT WANT.
Mitch bought a fifth of Blackheart. Mitch made three drinks. I gave the one he made me away because it tasted like SoCo poured out of a crackwhore's ass. He drank the other two. After three drinks the bottle was approximately 90-95% empty. So Mitch took down almost 2/3's of a fifth of some sugary-sweet nastiness in about 45 minutes or so. Anyway, I'm forced to relay the story of our being escorted from the stadium repeatedly as new friends appear, but that's ok because we didn't end up in jail, and really, isn't that what friends are for?
The next day when I relate this little tale to Mitch he laughs heartily at himself and thanks me profusely for keeping his ass out of jail. I then inform him he is no longer allowed to drink Blackheart. He has agreed to this punishment. When I asked him why the hell he made his drinks so strong his reply was, "They just tasted so good!" I have to wonder if he'd feel the same if he could remember the way it tasted the second time around...
Now that we have that out of the way...
MSU plays Georgia this weekend if anybody cares. Should be a good game. The key to the game will be turnovers. Stay on the winning side of the turnover margin and the Western Dogs should win out. Having Carmon back should help the offense if he can contribute without further injury. Yadda yadda yadda... it's been a busy week.
I left my throne a million miles away. I drink from your tit, I sing your blues every day. Now give me the strength To split the world in two, yeah. I ate all the rest and now I've gotta eat you...
JUST A S.E.C. - Hey look! More new stuff! This week we kick off a
new segment where we take a look around the conference and see how the
other half lives. So please, give us Just a S.E.C....
R.E.M. calling it quits?
Say it ain't so!!
OM vs GA - Our neighbors to the north have a pivotal game on the slate for Saturday, facing the embattled Mark Richt and his Georgia Bulldogs.
I say pivotal because when the clock strikes zero on this game, one
coach's arse will be squarely on the hot seat. Look for that arse to
belong to the Right and Honorable Reverend Houston Dale Nutt, Esquire.
However, if the odds-makers are wrong by giving 10.5 points in favor of
the Bulldogs then look for Mark Richt to go all R.E.M.
Bama vs Ark - One of the highlights of the weekend will definitely be the match-up between the Hogs and the Tide. It's the SEC's top offense squaring off against the SEC's top defense,
and it's going to have league-wide implications. The winner of this
game puts themselves in position to win the West, and from there a win
in the SEC championship game will likely put them in place to play for
the national title.
Fla vs UK - While many MSU fans are
upset about losing 12 straight to LSU, and rightly so, how about a
little perspective? Florida has won twentyfive straight gamesagainst Kentucky. Twenty. Five. That pretty much tells you all you need to know about this match-up. Sorry, Kats.
South
Carolina vs Vandy - Two teams out of the East that don't typically
spring to mind first when you think of undefeated after three weeks
would be SC and Vandy, but entering this weekend they both sport a 3-0
record. Marcus Lattimore is a legitimate rushing threat to compliment
Stephen Garcia's passing game, but SC has yet to put together a solid
performance for all 60 minutes yet. Meanwhile, Vanderbilt is coming off a solid
win against Ole Miss and James Franklin has the Commodores playing
beyond themselves. Don't be surprised to see Vandy give the Gamecocks
all they can handle on Saturday.
Auburn vs FAU - The
Tigers face Florida Atlantic this weekend, in what should be a rout.
Gus Malzhan will ensure that Auburn recovers from last weekend's loss to
Clemson and gets back on the winning side of things.
Hey Coach Nutt, Coach Richt! We got your seat right here!
LSU vs WVU - The other Tigers travel to
Morgantown, WV to take on the Mountaineers Saturday in an SEC/Big East
contest. Both teams sit at 3-0, with LSU ranked #2 and WVU ranked #16,
and QB Gino Smith figures to test the lightning fast LSU defense with
his arm. Smith is currently slinging around 70% of his passing
successfully, so this will be a true test for the Tiger defense.
Peepin' Croom in all his glory...
PICK OF THE SIX - This week's Pick of the Six features a great weekly thread from Six Pack Speak, the Fark Off competition. In this weekly competition, readers are given source pics and a few rules as guidance, and tasked to come up with some fun, funny and creative pics that involve MSU and/or the opponents. A little creativity with Peepin' Croom, a Six Pack legacy, garnered this thread a spot in the Six Pack Remembers forum, where some of the greatest posts from the board's history are archived for posterity. Grats to mechdawg for his creativity.
Can you feel the bro-mance?
LAST WEEK - Last week the LSU defense flew into Starkville below radar and proceeded to lay an embarrassing beat down on MSU's offense. Tyrann Mathieu was Slider to Morris Claiborne's Iceman, with the pair netting 2 INT's (Claiborne) and 10 tackles (Matthieu) between them. Now admittedly LSU will likely end up having a top 10 defense in the country when it's all said and done, but the Bulldog faithful still expected a little more from the offense. The fact that there were no touchdowns by either team going into the fourth quarter is a testament to how hard the D work on both sides of the field Saturday. LSU's offense is nothing to laugh at, and the MSU defense made some good adjustments after letting a close one slip away to Auburn the week before. Frankly, as an MSU fan I am more upset about the Auburn loss than LSU, but Dan Mullen is reaping what he's sown by raising the fan base's expectations now. Can he rally the troops and right the ship this week?
-Are we pretty yet?! -No. -DRINK MOAR!
THIS WEEK - In a word, yes. This weeks patsy opponent is LA Tech out of the WAC, and if you don't think Dan Mullen, Les Koenning and the rest of the MSU offense is not only relieved but licking their collective chops at the prospect of throwing down an epic beatdown on the lil' bulldogs from Louisiana you're fooling yourself. Mississippi State apparently drew the ire of the scheduling gods the last few seasons, having to face off against the likes of LSU and Auburn in the first 3-4 games of the season. Admittedly the road is never easy in the SEC, but what I wouldn't give to trade Auburn or LSU out for an earlier meeting with Ole Miss, or better yet an out-of-conference foe? Speaking of Ole Miss, have you heard? The wheels are coming off faster than a sorostitutes clothes after five apple-tinis. There's this, and this, and even this. Oh, and this, too. Not. Good.
KEYS TO THE GAME - No secrets here, just make sure we minimize mistakes and focus on fundamentals. Say, that was kinda catchy, wasn't it? "Minimize mistakes, focus on fundamentals."(TM) Boom, now you gotta pay me to use that, coach...
You keep using that word...
Anyway, MSU can, should and will win by at least 2 touchdowns. Anything less and the Bulldogs will still have much of the fanbase questioning how much progress they're making. This is not meant as a slight to LA Tech, but let's pull out a couple of analogies here. 1) Big brother, little brother. Big bro's got 3-4 years on ya, there, little fellah. You're not gonna be dunking on him anytime soon. 2) Pack dynamics. We're the full-grown bulldog, you're the pup. You're not gonna be the alpha anytime soon, either. This isn't the same team that lost to Maine. Losing to LA Tech is simply inconceivable. INCONCEIVABLE!!!
OFFENSE - It's hard to say that MSU's offense made any progress from weeks 2 to 3, but squaring off against one of the top defenses in the country can have that effect. That being said, I personally think Chris Relf and the WR corps are largely responsible. Connect on a few of those passes and we continue to move the chains. Continue to move the chains and we are in a position to score, and also give LSU a much longer field to work with. Just as a few missed/dropped passes cost us the games against Auburn in 2010 and 2011, it also cost us against LSU. Chris Relf must return to the form he was in at the end of last season, and during the Gator Bowl blowout of Michigan, if opposing defenses are going to take him seriously as a passing threat. Otherwise it's stack the box and stuff the run.
DEFENSE - MSU's defense should finally be able to showcase some progress this weekend, which is definitely going to be a weight off Chris Wilson's shoulders. LA Tech's offense was able to keep pace with Case Keenum and Houston last weekend, although they ended up on the losing side of that contest. You can expect the combo of Banks and Broomfield to take at least one pick to the house this weekend, and unless the D line falls asleep on their feet there's not much of a rushing threat to be seen. Look for lots of rotation throughout the defensive side of the ball as MSU gets more reps for their backups at every position.
BOTTOM LINE - The SEC Dawgs walk away victorious, and honestly, was there ever really a doubt? Dan Mullen has changed expectations for the Bulldogs, and his next step is to win those 'close call' games with SEC-caliber opponents. Looking ahead to another dogfight next weekend between the Hedges, the maroon-clad Bulldogs must tighten up to prepare for Georgia, and Dan will use this game as a teaching experience.
FINAL SCORE -
WILD AND WOOLLY PREDICTION -
MSU 47 LA Tech 0
REALISTIC PREDICTION -
MSU 41 LA Tech 10
Where's my rubber ducky?
For all the LA Tech fans experiencing a fit of rage after reading this (yes, all three of you) all I can tell you is it's not going to be pretty. Terry Bradshaw would be well advised to go have a beer with Frank Caliendo's John Madden and talk about Sunday's NFL matchups, because any way you slice it this will be a slaughter. If you disagree then click the link at the top and shoot me an email... I'll be sure to take the craziest rants and post them here for all to see. Cheers!
Shit adds up, shit adds up, shit adds up, shit adds up at the bottom...
If I let you, you would make me destroy myself.
In order to survive you, i must first survive myself.
I can sink no further, and I cannot forgive you.
There's no choice but to confront you, to engage you, to erase you.
I've gone to great lengths to expand my threshold of pain...
I will use my mistakes against you, there's no other choice.
I'm shameless now, I'm nameless now, I'm nothing now, I'm no one now.
But my soul must be iron 'cause my fear is naked...
I'm naked and fearless...
And my fear is naked!
Last week's first ever poll for this week's theme song ended in a tie (2 whole votes!), so I made an executive decision following the Auburn game to go with a alternative that is far more apropos given the results. Shit adds up at the bottom, after all. But that's not what this selection is about...
I chose that particular excerpt of lyrics for a very good reason. Ok two reasons... first off, the song is just badass. But also, this song isn't just about "shit happens" or "shit rolls down hill" or any of that. It's more like "shit happens, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you dictate the shit that happens to me. I will rise above your short-sighted, preconceived notions of what you believe I should be and reinvent myself." And that is exactly what this MSU team will have to do if they want a chance at knocking off arguably the best team in the country in week 3.
PICK OF THE SIX -
Sexy maaan, sexy maaaan!
We're starting a new feature this week on the
blog, the Pick of the Six. This is where I post a link to a
funny/informative/entertaining thread from the Six Pack Speak website.
This is a great website for all things MSU, and if you're not on there
yet you're already behind the game. A few important notes: I highly
recommend you DO NOT dive in and start posting right away. Read more,
post less is the name of the game here. Also, 17 is not a number, it's
an expletive. And finally, you'd do well not to offer any
grammar/spelling advice as you'll only be exposing and embarrassing
yourself, even if your write. (see what I did there?) The Pick of the Six will vary depending on the day of the week, the
upcoming/previous opponents and quality of board content, but I'm sure
you'll be entertained.
And with that, I give you this week's Pick of the Six: Coach34's Sunday Morning QB - Auburn Edition.
Now a little background on Coach34, he is the number one troll on the
Six Pack and he's not afraid to stir the pot. Half the time (half? ok, 90%) he posts shit to get folks riled up, but he knows a thing or two about football
and he is a true fan. Also he's kind of an ass, but that's a prerequisite for trolls anyway...
LAST WEEK -
They say the most improvement happens between week one and week two, but there is (or at least should be) a caveat to that. The most improvement is going to happen after you're able to accurately assess your abilities. Memphis did not test MSU's defense, and so the question marks remained question marks instead of turning into exclamation marks. But now that Auburn has exposed the issues at hand for this defense, those questions can at least be addressed. Disregarding the short week, you can expect to see some significant adjustments on the defensive side of the ball.
Must fight urge to photoshop 'f' onto shirt!
So my predictions may have been wrong, but I was right about a few key factors. The offenses were able to move the ball and score almost at will, MSU ran the ball quite well, and Guz Malzhan fine tuned his offense to a much improved result. As I told some friends in casual conversation, I was a little concerned to see the numbers that Auburn's special teams unit put up, as that's where most of their yardage came from vs. Utah State(Auburn rushing: 78 yds, Auburn special teams [returning yardarge]: 270 yds) and what that meant for our kicking game/special teams situations. Turns out I was right to be worried. Auburn's special teams are, in a word, special. I may end up eating crow thanks to my parting shot at Auburn in the pre-game blog... but we'll cook that bird when we come to it. Meanwhile MSU has yet to find a kicker that can consistently produce touch backs, and that resulted in many short field opportunities for the Tigers, while the Bulldogs had to go to work inside their own 20 yard line more times than any coach likes to see. I mean is it really that hard to find a hot-ass coed who can boot the pigskin 75 yards? Hell, if Kathy Ireland can do it...
THIS WEEK - This is a short week, so the Bulldogs got back to work less than 24
hours after the humbling loss to Auburn. LSU put on a clinic in week
one against a very good Oregon team who turned around and pounded out
some frustrations on Nevada to the tune of 69 points. The smart money
is on LSU to coast to a win here, but in football terminology that
translates into "Trap Game." Will the Bayou Bengals be focused? Will Chris Wilson make the necessary adjustments? Why do LSU fans smell like corn dogs? Will
the Bulldogs be over the loss? Will ESPN send an uber-hottie sideline
reporter? All these answers and much more on the next episode of
Soap... er, wait. Sorry, I get distracted easily... Right! On with the show!
KEYS TO THE GAME -
This week the Bulldogs have a daunting task ahead of them. LSU is loaded at nearly every position, even after losing their starting QB and another player due to some off the field shenanigans. After the gut-wrenching loss on the Plains MSU returns home for their season and conference home opener. Can Mississippi State collect themselves and put an improved product on the field, and if so will it be enough to keep LSU from steamrolling the Bulldogs for a 12th straight time?
In a word, maybe. As I said earlier, the Auburn loss was valuable from a self-evaluation stand point for our defense. Whereas Memphis barely tested our 2nd and 3rd string defense, Auburn exposed some weaknesses in players, schemes and techniques. So this is MSU's "week two" and we will see what sort of adjustments are made to staunch the bleeding. Can Chris Wilson rally his troops and make the necessary adjustments or will he go the way of the Torbushes or the Joe Lee Dunns of the world?
OFFENSE -
Dan Mullen has definitely improved the product MSU is putting on the field, there is no doubt about that. Even in the disheartening loss to Auburn, Mississippi State was able to put up solid offensive numbers. 333 rushing yards, 198 passing yards... both of these eclipse Auburn's efforts on the day. The difference was special teams and starting field position. The offense needs their defense and special teams to put them in a more favorable position if they're going to beat the Tigers.
A few injuries to the offensive line did not help matters, although Mullen feels Quentin Saulsberry will be available Thursday night. Dillon Day put in some good time in his absence, leaving many to wonder if Saulsberry wouldn't be better off moving to a guard position and letting Day handle the snaps going forward. Still, LSU is stacked on both O and D lines, so this unit will have their work cut out for them. Look for MSU to continue to look to Vick Ballard as the workhorse of the offense, with Chris Relf also sneaking in a surprising number of yards with his own two feet. LaDarius Perkins is not to be forgotten either, but speaking of forgotten, where the hell is Robert Elliot? The buzz out of the spring was that he had returned to his pre-injury greatness and his speed would astound and amaze. Certainly it couldn't hurt to throw a wrinkle out for Les Miles' crew to deal with?
DEFENSE -
Where do you start? Missed tackles, soft coverage, bad scheming... the list goes on. It's too early to start the fireChrisWilson.comchatter just yet, but he's definitely got something to prove if he wants the Bulldog faithful to remain in his camp. Unfortunately for him, LSU is not quite the punching bag you hope to see when you're looking to get over a loss and put up some better stats for a little bit of the feel-good magic.
But it's not all bad. Corey Broomfield is proving himself a valuable asset, as is Johnathan Banks who had an interception returned for TD Saturday. Cam Lawrence also posted some solid stats, with 14 tackles, 12 solo, and 1 sack for a 10 yard loss. If you want to take a positive away from the negative, it's that one of the underlying problems is fundamentals, which is coachable (is that a word? ...well it is now!) and correctable. The defense has to get back to the basics, namely finishing tackles, in order to get back in the game. Do that, and we should see marked improvement from the D, even against the likes of LSU.
BOTTOM LINE -
I'd love to say it's about who wants it more... as Gene Hackman says in The Replacements, "Heart." But LSU is the proverbial Goliath to MSU's David. MSU is more likely to find themselves looking up from the quicksand than they are to be looking down from the mountaintop. The question is whether or not Dan and his Bulldogs can shake the loss to Auburn, move on in this short week, and really get up for the game Thursday night.
There is an awful lot going in favor of MSU, believe it or not. Home opener. SEC opener. Thursday night game. ESPN will be on hand. Oh, and let's not forget the cowbells. All of these will have the home crowd whipped into a frenzy, and the team can and should feed off that energy. Will it be enough?
FINAL SCORE -
MSU started last season 1-2 after three games, so the world doesn't end if they lose to the Tigers Thursday night. However the road to Atlanta would essentially be closed if that ends up being the case. Still, it's a young season and anything could happen. As much as I'd like to predict a win, it's so unlikely that even I am hesitant. With that said...
WILD AND WOOLLY PREDICTION -
MSU 24 - LSU 21
REALISTIC PREDICTION -
MSU 21 - LSU 42
Yeah yeah, I hear you... that's what a wild and woolly prediction is for, though. If you look back at my past prognostications you'll see I don't always predict MSU to win, even in wild and woolly fashion, but this team's offense is going to sneak up and surprise someone this season, and I'd sure like that someone to be #2 LSU. So if you take issue with anything I've said here then just drop me an email by hitting the link at the top. Also be sure to vote for next week's theme song, and check back with us next week for a very bold prediction regarding MSU upcoming match with LA Tech... oh wordplay, how I love thee.
Risin' up, straight to the top,
Have the guts, got the glory.
Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop,
Just a man and his will to survive...
It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight.
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival...
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night,
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger...
Ok, ok, I know what you're thinking... "A little cliche on the musical selection, don't you think, Hooch?" Well, two things: 1) That's "MISTER Hooch" to you, junior, and 2) when you play three different Tiger teams three weeks in a row, you'd be hard-pressed NOT to throw in at least a passing reference to this song, so why not embrace it? Also, speaking of songs there is now a poll for you to vote on what you want next week's theme song to be, so make sure to cast your vote right over there =============>
Now that we've got that out of the way...
MSU faces an Auburn team that is vastly different from the
National Championship team of last year. Cam Newton is gone, as are
upwards of 15 starters on both sides of the ball. Meanwhile MSU returns
nearly all their starters from last year, including the new and
improved Chris Relf (now with authentic passing-action!) and a WR core
that is as deep as it's ever been for the Bulldogs.
With
only one week's worth of footage and info it's hard to read too much
into anything, but when you consider that Mississippi State laid 59 on
opening patsy Memphis while Auburn struggled to come away with a 4 point
win in the last 30 seconds, it's hard not to have some expectations.
As any good college football fan will tell you, though, the most
improvement is typically seen from the first to second weeks. With that
in mind, let's get to it!
KEYS TO THE GAME -
OFFENSE -
The Mississippi State offense apparently picked up right where they left off in January after drubbing Michigan to the tune of 52-14. In fact, the Bulldogs scorched Memphis for 645 yards of total offense, setting a new school record. Dan Mullen clearly has the offense firing on all cylinders, but will it be enough to get past Auburn?
In a word, yes. Auburn looked largely porous against Utah State's running game, allowing them to net 227 yards on the ground. Word out of Auburn is that the play calling for this weekend will be more simplified in an effort to give the new players a chance to acclimate themselves to the system. While that might seem good on the surface, the underlying meaning is that the defense could not effectively read plays and adjust. That will be a serious issue when dealing with a Dan Mullen coached offense and a senior quarterback who can just as easily tuck the ball and pick up a first down, or toss it out to one of the many WR's for a potential big play.
DEFENSE -
Gus Malzhan is certainly no slouch. The man parlayed a talented high school QB into an assistant coaching gig at Arkansas, and rode the coaching rails from there, with his most recent stop as the OC for Auburn's National Championship team last season. Against Utah State the Tigers posted 286 yards through the air, and just 78 yards rushing, though. Malzhan will certainly having his offense clicking better this weekend, but it's hard to imagine the Tigers beating the Bulldogs on the ground. Chris Wilson is likely to pull a few guys back into coverage often in order to hedge his bets that Barrett Trotter is going to try to beat them with the pass.
This, then, will be the true test of one of the most worrisome positions on the field for the MSU defense. Will the Dawgs' DB's be up to the task of stopping a legit SEC team's passing game? Or will Auburn "skull-fuck [MSU]" through the air as one Auburn poster so eloquently put it in a very entertaining thread on a random internet message board. (full quote from poster known as Where Eagles Dare - "Auburn would have skull fucked the shit out of MSU last year if we
played later in the season. Your team is pure shit and Relf is a
homeless version of some random dumb nig QB." Nice work, W.E.D. ... Glad you found time to throw in the racial epithet while you were exemplifying everything that is high-class about your school.**)
(** - These are known as sarcasterisks. Any word, phrase, sentence or paragraph preceding sarcasterisks should be read with a sarcastic tone. Pretty straight forward, really...)
BOTTOM LINE -
SCORING -
This game has all the makings of a shoot-out, and I would not be surprised to find the final box score strongly resembling that of the Auburn/Arkansas game of a year ago. In the end, the team with the most points on the scoreboard when the clock strikes zero will win. (Thank you, John Madden...) Ultimately, the veteran Dawgs defense will come away more successful than Auburn's, and Mississippi State walks out of Jordan-Hare Stadium with a 2-0 record and 5 short days to game plan for a tough, tough LSU team on Thursday night.
FINAL SCORE -
Last week I was moderately close with my realistic prediction of 47-10 (final score was 59-14), and I feel confident my predictions this week will be in the ballpark as well. As I said above, though, this has all the makings of a shoot-out, so it's entirely possible that you could add 2-3 scores on both sides of the equation, however I feel the margin of victory will remain relatively constant. So, that being said...
WILD AND WOOLLY PREDICTION -
MSU 47 Auburn 14
REALISTIC PREDICTION -
MSU 35 Auburn 24
What's that, War Eagle? You think I'm crazy? Well why not drop me a line and let me know at houseofhooch@gmail.com, or just scroll back to the top of the page and hit the link on the right? If Auburn wins you can spam me until your heart's content with "Neener-neener's" and "Told ya so's", and let's be honest, you probably don't have a whole lot more to look forward to this season, soooo....
It's game week, bitches! At the time of this posting kickoff will be a mere 6 days away and speculation will have reached a fevered pitch, no doubt. But with the first opponent will we really see all that MSU has to offer for the coming season?
In a word, no. Mississippi State enters the season with a ranking of 20 for the first time in a decade or more, and their first opponent is the Memphis Tigers team which weighs in at a ranking of 120. That's one hundred and twenty. I think there are 121 Div-1 football teams total, soooooo yeah.
KEYS TO THE GAME -
OFFENSE -
The MSU Bulldogs wrapped a stellar 2010 season by hanging 52 points on the storied Michigan Wolverines. You can see a great highlight reel here, good work, TXMudDawg! The 2011-12 offense figures to be much the same, if not incrementally better. Chris Relf really showed progress in the later half of the season with his passing game, and is expected to be one of the premier QB's of the SEC this year. Then there's the stable of backs, namely Vick Ballard, LaDarius Perkins, and freshly rehabbed running machine, Robert Elliot. THEN there's the slew of receivers. Chad Bumphis, Arceto Clark, Michael Carr, Brandon Heavens, Jameon Lewis, etc. etc. etc. The only question on the offensive side of the ball is at the line, where some shuffling and retooling will take place. Injuries not withstanding there won't be much drop-off there.
The key to the offense for the Memphis game? Well that's easy... just play your game and avoid injuries. The Bulldogs are likely to jump out to a 2-3 touchdown lead in the first quarter, which would be a beneficial situation for the 2nd and 3rd stringers across the board. Chris Relf will probably be on the sidelines for the entirety of the second half, leaving the offense in the hands of drop-back passer Tyler Russel and possibly pigskin-slingin cowboy Dylan Farve.
DEFENSE -
On the defensive side of the ball MSU looks to be relatively consistent with where they were last year. While the Dog's O dropped 52 on Michigan, the D shut down media darling Denard Robinson and the Wolverine offense, allowing only two touchdowns on the game.
The biggest losses are Chris White, KJ Wright and Pernell McPhee, all of whom have taken the next step by joining the ranks of the NFL, so of course I'd like to take this opportunity to offer up my congratulations on outstanding careers as Bulldogs, and wish you all the best in the future.
Luckily with the likes of Chris Hughes, Cam Lawrence, and stand-out transfer Brandon Maye the losses won't sting quite as much. Also, considering the level of competition with Memphis, the backups will figure prominently in finishing out the game on the defensive side of the ball as well.
BOTTOM LINE -
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER -
Don't take it personally, Memphis, because we've definitely been on the outside looking in before, and not terribly long ago at that, but this will be a rout. That being the case Dan Mullen will have the luxury of seeing much of his depth in action which should allow him to fine-tune his team for the week 2 match up with Auburn. Mullen is also not very likely to tip his hand with a lot of creative plays and misdirection. Look for good old fashion, straight forward, smash mouth football with a lot of running between the tackles and around the ends.
Beginning in two weeks the links and music will return to the House of Hooch, so pull out your cowbell, dust off your tailgating gear and throw your favorite tunes on your iPod (or other listening device) because the party starts Sept. 1st. Until then, here are my predictions for the coming season...
Kick off is two short weeks away, with the MSU Bulldogs opening the 2011 season on the road in Memphis, and it's going to be the longest "two short weeks" ever. The season cannot get here fast enough. I have poured over websites and blogs galore, just to curb my appetite for college football. I've speculated until I'm blue in the face... I've even had dreams about tailgating for a game.
But nothing will compare to the butterflies in my stomach when I wake up on gameday in two weeks... It is a strange feeling, at once calming and exciting. So keeping in mind that I have been drinking deeply from the Maroon and White Kool-aid well, here are my predictions for MSU this season:
Memphis - Starting the season ranked in the top 25 carries heightened expectations, and not the least among them is a convincing victory over Memphis. The Bulldogs should (and will) jump out to an early lead and never look back. Final score: MSU 47 - Memphis 10
Auburn - A tough test in any given season, the week 2 trip to the Plains will be a complete 180 from the cakewalk in Memphis. Cam Newton is gone, but Auburn is still fully loaded at most positions and never an opponent to be taken lightly. However the Bulldogs will dash their hopes at a repeat performance on the national stage in their second game of the season. Final score: MSU 35 - Auburn 24
LSU - The Bulldogs won't have long to bask in the glory of their victory, though, as they must turn around and face the LSU Tigers a mere 5 days later in their home opener of the season. A Thursday night showdown in Starkville will be televised by ESPN, where the Bulldogs will face an LSU team that will likely be sitting at 1-1 after facing off with Oregon in week one, and Northwestern State in week 2. I'll let you guess which one is the W. This will likely be a pivotal game for the Bulldogs' season, as making it through this game unscathed will no doubt catapult MSU into the top 10. Unfortunately the quick turnaround and emotional win over Auburn combined with LSU's athleticism at nearly every position will be the Dawgs' undoing. Final score: MSU 27 - LSU 31
Georgia - Mark Richt and the Eastern Bulldogs will likely be sitting at .500 after opening the season with Boise State and South Carolina, although it's entirely possible they could pull out a win over Boise State. Either way they look to be riding a 2 game win streak coming into this game and will be eager to repay MSU for last season's loss. Dan Mullen will have the Bulldogs ready for business this time around, and though it may get ugly between the Hedges the (Western) Dawgs will come away victorious. Final score: MSU 28 - Georgia 21
UAB - UAB returns their fair share of starters from a team that threatened to sneak up and steal a W from MSU a year ago. It would be easy for the Bulldogs to overlook this game, but these are the situations where coaches earn their keep. Look for Dan Mullen to have the boys in maroon firing on all cylinders by this point. Final score: MSU 42 - UAB 17
South Carolina - The favorite to win an admittedly downtrodden SEC East, SC comes to Starkville likely sporting a perfect record, although early season matchups against Georgia and/or Auburn could put a notch in the L column. Regardless they will still be a national contender and a force to be reckoned with. Garcia at QB and Lattimore running the ball provide a potent offense and the Dawg's D will have their hands full. MSU is lucky enough to host this one at home, and the cowbells will be ringing in celebration of victory at the end of the day. Final score: MSU 27 - SC 24
Kentucky - Riding a high from win over SEC East foe South Carolina, the Bulldogs travel to Lexington to face the Wildcats. This will be a lull in the action by comparison but the Dawgs will handle the Cats handily. Final score: MSU 45 - Kentucky 21
Tennessee-Martin - The homecoming game patsy will show up ready to play, but the Bulldogs can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. Look for the Bulldogs to run up an early lead and play a lot of 2nd and 3rd stringers when it's all said and done. Final score: MSU 42 - TM 13
Alabama - If you've been keeping track you'll know MSU will be sitting at 7-1 coming into what will no doubt be a game that will have repercussions throughout the SEC. The Bulldogs get a couple of lucky breaks in hosting the Crimson Tide at home and facing them after what promises to be a knock-down-drag-out versus LSU the week before. Still, when it's all said and done Bama will out-hustle and out-muscle the Dawgs and hand them their second loss of the season. Final score: MSU 17 - Bama 28
Arkansas - All is not lost, however. The Bulldogs will travel to Little Rock for the penultimate game of the regular season to face the Razorbacks in War Memorial Stadium. Neither team will have forgotten last years double-overtime game that saw the Razorbacks narrowly avoid defeat by a fluke fumble that rolled out the back of the endzone. The Dawgs face a slightly down Arkansas team and pull away late with a win. Final score: MSU 28 - Arkansas 24
Ole Miss - Call it bravado, call it cocky, call it attitude, call it swagger... whatever you call it, call it a W. Ole Miss will be utterly defeated by this point in the season, likely out of the running for any bowl game at all and playing only with the hope of spoiling MSU's season. Dan Mullen will hoist the Egg Bowl Trophy once again, though, and the entire OM campus will be put on suicide watch. Final score: MSU 45 - Ole Miss 23
So there you have it. Call me out if you want, but that's the way I see things shaking down when the dust settles. If your opinion is different I'd love to hear from you, so leave me a comment or email me at houseofhooch@gmail.com and let me know. But honestly, why would you bother when you know I'm right?
And I'm going to fly through the DAMN TALKING POINTS as quickly and efficiently as I can:
First off a big ole HOOOUUUAAAHHH!!! to the Mississippi State Bulldogs and Coach Dan Mullen for handing Michigan (winningest program in NCAA history) their worst bowl game loss in the program's history. Keep up the good work, Dawgs!
Sidney is suspended from playing yet aGAIN (what ever happened to three strikes and you're out?).
Baily and Sidney are sent home from Hawaii and the rest of the road trip.
Rick "I recruit, they shoot" Stansbury waffles harder than a weak-willed fat kid in a candy store, and finally acquiesces to the "talent" he's been chasing and lobbying for over the last year and a half, leading to Elgin "Teddy Bear" Baily requesting a transfer.
Sidney is reinstated, cementing his importance in his own mind.
Twanny "Who?" Beckham is disgusted by the state of the program and sees his playing time greatly diminished with the return of Dee "I need a new watch" Bost, and also requests a transfer.
MSU basketball is 8-6 against a pretty weak OOC schedule (RPI somewhere in the 200's?) and now turns it's focus to the murderer's row known as the SEC.
Can Renardo "All me, all the time" Sidney and Dee "Damn a deadline" Bost change the complexion of this squad and have them in contention for a spot in the big dance come March? No.
That's right I said it.
Some experts have indicated that it will take an SEC west team such as MSU having 12+ conference wins in order to make the dance. Do I think these dawgs can pull together and win 12 of the next 16 games?
Absolutely not... and ultimately it all falls on Rick "X's and O's are for tic-tac-toes" Stansbury's shoulders.
He recruited the "players"(pronounced: prima-donas) and has "coached" them (the word "coached" is in quotation marks because any coach that can't find time to practice the fucking ZONE DEFENSE somewhere along the way BEFORE the season starts isn't doing their damn job, now are they?) to be what they are today. A bunch of individuals who are more concerned with their playing time and their potential NBA futures (pipe dreams) than representing their school and their fans.
Renardo "Double Stuff" Sidney clearly possesses some talent or he wouldn't have been so highly recruited by USC, UCLA and the scores of other schools, but he is literally getting too big for his britches (that's "bRitches", Sid... with an "R"... fatty). He will not magically be in "game shape" this Saturday after bellying up to the buffet twice a week for the last 2 years. He will pant and puff and wheeze and huff, he will quit on plays, and he will walk (not run) down the floor, likely on his 3rd or 4th possession of the game. He will do all this and more (less?) because he is already a star in his own mind, and people like Rick "the Kingmaker" Stansbury feed into that by letting him get away with murder...
Ok so it's not murder, but he did beat the shit outta Elgin.
Still, they are my dawgs and I will cheer them on and hope like hell I end up eating crow in march... I like mine with hot sauce.
Go Dawgs!
A quick look ahead with my predictions...I expect MSU to jump out to a 3-0 start in conference play, followed by a hideous 3 game skid against SEC east teams.
MSU v Bama -MSU wins by 5 MSU v OM -MSU wins by 2 MSU v Auburn -MSU wins by 4 MSU v GA -GA wins by 2 MSU v Vandy -Vandy wins by 6 MSU v Florida -Fla wins by 8
P.S. - In case you're a regular reader and wondering, this basketball team doesn't get theme music until I feel they deserve it.... good or bad.
